Grown man still queasy, two days after accidentally seeing Chloé Dygert’s leg

Australian man was heard saying “What is that? Is that her– OH MY GOD! Ewww! F—K ME! Ewww! Ewww!” shortly before locking his phone and vowing never to look at social media again.

By CADEL HEAVENS

The 46-year-old’s partner says he has also refused to open tinned tuna, sliced beetroot, or even shave since the incident.

“I don’t know if he’ll ever be the same – I asked him to pick up a couple of scotch fillets on the way home yesterday, but instead he bought instant mashed potato and an apple and said we should become vegetarians.”

Dygert, the defending champion, was leading the Women’s Time Trial at the UCI World Championships in Imola, Italy, on Thursday when she crashed over a road-side barrier on a sweeping right-hand descent, suffering a severe laceration above her knee.

Photographs of her injury have since been shared extensively on social media, including by Dygert herself*.

While Dygert is expected to make a full recovery, her bank balance could yet take a hit.

Sources close to the rider have revealed that Monty Python’s legal team has contacted her about possible copyright infringement, after Dygert revealed her first thought after the crash was to get back on the bike.

According to paperwork seen exclusively by the Gruppetto Gazette: “While Ms Dygert did not literally say ‘It’s just a flesh wound,’ there is a prima facie case that a reasonable person could, in that moment, have mistaken her for the Black Knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail and thus she is liable for extensive damages.

*Possibly not true – the Gruppetto Gazette is a safe workspace and has barred its journalists from checking Dygert’s Twitter feed for two weeks in case the image is still there.

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