Cycling fan knocked over by feather after hearing of TdF doping investigation

A woman in Holland is nursing a broken wrist tonight after she was struck by a feather and immediately toppled over, having moments earlier learned of the latest doping allegations to rock international cycling.

By JAN DIRT

The woman’s family have asked for privacy while she recovers, but a friend described the incident exclusively to the Gruppetto Gazette.

“She was waiting for her son to get out of school when she took a moment to check the news – that’s when it happened.

“No sooner had she seen the headline about the French police raiding Arkea-Samsic’s hotel, than a feather fluttered down from the sky, striking her flush in the chest and leaving her strewn across the footpath screaming in agony.

“She is as tough as a two-day old stroopwafel so I’m sure she’ll bounce back, but for now she has agreed to keep away from all cycling media [except the Gruppetto Gazette – ed.] lest she hear any more stunning, shattering, absolutely unexpected allegations.”

Dutch cyclist Tom Dumoulin (Jumbo Visma) has led the peloton in wishing her well, and is believed to have sent a six-pack of ketones to help in her recovery.

Meanwhile, in a similar but unrelated incident, an American man is reported to have cut off his own legs and changed his name to “Shorty” after seeing the same doping headlines.

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